When I Have Pondered

When I have pondered and derided love,
Denounced myself, a weakling and a fool,
And classified my heartaches all as false,
The trifling fancies of a girl in school.
How is it then, when I have made me hard,
I fear to turn the ways we used to go,
And pray to God, while dreading, that we'll meet?
Oh, such a wretched heart, to love you so!